4.27.2016

one in eight


 I am one in eight. 
1 in 8 couples are affected by infertility. 
thats 7.4 million men and women.
1/3 of infertility is attributed to the female partner.
1/3 of infertility is attributed to the male partner. 
and..
1/3 is caused by a combination of both.  
..not a single story of infertility is alike.

if you have read this blog over the last four years, or somehow stumbled upon the about section or landed here to read our story via web search for PCOS, you are familiar with our version of infertility.
our version of the story?  it might seem as though our struggles were small.  we did end up with three kids in three years, after all.  right?
leading up to twins were four long, heartbreaking, and most of all confusing years of our lives.  
one roadblock in front of the other.  

struggling with infertility is like going through the five stages of grief every single month.
you deny, bargain, get angry, cry, and accept. 
then you pick yourself up off and do it all over again.

after three years of struggle, tears, pokes, prods, tests, lab work, sonograms.. 
we finally had a diagnosis. 
PCOS + male infertility.
another year goes by before we were physically ready to be able to try. 
we found ourselves in that last piece of the pie that fell into the combination factor of infertility.  
in the 10 months leading up to our second pregnancy, we were faced with not only secondary infertility, but the loss of two babies, as well.  I dream about those sweet angels.  when I was the most skeptical of all about His good and faithful Grace I saw those two solid blue lines.  pregnant. 
I will forever be in debt to one of my most favorite people on the planet.  I cannot express how thankful I am for her knowledge, patience and guidance in the last eight years.  my OB is one of a kind.

it was four years ago this week that we found out we were pregnant.
I took a test at three in the morning because I couldn't stand to wait any longer.
postive.
that one single positive outweighed the hundreds of negative before it.

not a single story of infertility is alike.
do not be ashamed of this journey. do not let anyone belittle your feelings of defeat.  your feelings of loss.  your feelings of hopelessness.  don't let anyone try to tell your story for you.   
the upmost beauty of it all is that we are not alone.
we stand together.

April 24-30

11 comments:

Alison Girouard said...

So much love for you Amber. I found your blog after a desperate Internet search after a PCOS diagnosis. We were so blessed so have a {relatively} easy road to conceive our daughter but the months leading up were so difficult. I hope to one day be fortunate enough to get to do it again. I know many women who have not been so lucky in expanding their family and posts like this one are so important to keep the discussion on infertility going.
I found your blog by searching for PCOS but love following and watching your beautiful girls grow.
Xo

Kayla Peas said...

Thank you for this post. 2 years ago today I had a miscarriage. This day always leaves me in wonder over what might have been. Thank you for reminding me that it is okay for us mommy's of angel babies to be hurt, confused, and still happy with the life we have now. I have a daughter born about a month after Baker and I could not have asked for a better blessing! Praise God

Katy S. said...

Thank you for sharing your story, Amber! Walking this road is not an easy one, not one I'd ever imagined I'd have to walk, but it's better knowing others have walked it before me and have had wonderful blessings like yours. :)

Brittney Hjelseth said...

to share your heart from a time when it was hard to see His greatness is so beautiful. He knows and clearly He knew what a beautiful family you would have!

Katie said...

this made me cry. infertility is such a painful road and one that i hate so many deal with, but i'm so thankful that I didn't feel so alone when we were going through and so thankful for the babies born through the long road and fight for them!

Lindsey said...

Very well written.

Valerie Ward-Menard said...

Thank you for this. Totally made me cry. My husband and I are currently going through this. It's such a struggle but it's so nice when people like you understand! 💗

Hailey Ullrich said...

thank you for sharing and validating the stages of grief every month. that's the raw and painful truth. we are two years into our search for answers, reading your words and seeing your darling family is encouraging and hopeful for me.

Hailey Ullrich said...

thank you for sharing and validating the stages of grief every month. that's the raw and painful truth. we are two years into our search for answers, reading your words and seeing your darling family is encouraging and hopeful for me.

Hailey Ullrich said...

thank you for sharing and validating the stages of grief every month. that's the raw and painful truth. we are two years into our search for answers, reading your words and seeing your darling family is encouraging and hopeful for me.

Hailey Ullrich said...

thank you for sharing and validating the stages of grief every month. that's the raw and painful truth. we are two years into our search for answers, reading your words and seeing your darling family is encouraging and hopeful for me.

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