how does she..?

I had the amazing pleasure to contribute to the 'how does she' series over at Little Miss Dessa! the interview was posted over there last week (HERE), but I loved sharing a little bit about our day in the life I wanted to share it over on my little corner of webspace, too!  this was one elaborate interview and it took me a week to think through and complete:) 

ENJOY!  

Tell us about yourself: Where do you live, age, marital status, number of kids and business.

I'm a 32 year old married mama to 4 babes.  My husband and I have been married for 12 years this August and we live in a suburb about an hour outside of Dallas/Fort Worth. We made this our home about 5 years ago while I was pregnant with the twins.  We have four year old twins, Parker and Jolie, Baker Bree who is about to be 2 in July and a 12 week old baby boy named Brady.  I've been a Registered Dietitian for the last 8 years and have worked as a personal chef (pre-babies), nutrition counseling, and currently work 4 days/week in the NICU at a hospital.  As if I wasn't crazy enough, a little over a year ago I started working from home as a Stitch Fix stylist for fun and have fallen in love with the company.

Describe a day in the life of you.

Right now a day in the life is all up in the air… we are all still getting to know Brady and he's finally on a regular "schedule". We are able to plan around his eat/sleep times during the day and I'm on maternity leave.  Usually we are all up by 8am in the morning- Parker wakes me often before 7am and I send her back to bed until at least 7:30am because it’s hard for me to function before then, ha!  The twins drink smoothies for breakfast and watch Disney channel or read books in their room while I nurse Brady and then Baker wakes by 9:30am (she's an amazing sleeper!) and she has her own smoothie.  If we have errands we usually leave the house by 11am and we are out and about making Costco runs or hitting up the splash pad now that the weather is warming up.  I pack a lunch for all the girls and we often eat on the run!  Usually home by 3-3:30p and I put Baker down for a late nap while the girls color or chill out and watch a movie or a couple of recorded Bubble Guppies on the DVR. I take that window of quiet time to straighten up the house, unload the dishwasher, or play catch up on email and the blog.

Do you have help? A nanny or housekeeper? Family?

Oh my goodness- YES.  100% yes.  I am so thankful for the help that I have.  First of all, my husband is amazing.  I wouldn't have survived the twins, let alone have two more after the fact if he didn't help me the way that he does.  He does the laundry, manages the kiddos, runs errands with all four in tow, and he and I take turns cooking.  He is a firefighter and his work schedule allows for him to be home a lot more than a normal 40 hour 9-5 type job. We also have a housekeeper that comes every two weeks.  Jordan and I both tend to put actual cleaning at the end of our list of To-Dos and we can agree that we would literally give up our cell phones to keep our wonderful housekeeper if it came down to it.   Since the twins were born, my mother in law has kept the babies on the days that I was at work and Jordan was on shift- about 2 days per week.  After Brady was born we made the decision to hire a nanny three days per week to replace the help my MIL has given for the last 5 years. 

How do you manage to have “me” time?

As I mentioned above, my husband is around quite a bit, but that also means that I am home alone often, too.  Days that I am solo with all four of them for 24 hours while he's on shift can be exhausting! Because of that he makes it a priority that I get in some “me” time. So about once a week or every other week he allows me to go to Starbucks and work on the blog, meet a girlfriend for brunch, or get my nails done.  Just about 2 hours of uninterrupted time to myself.

How do you manage to make time to stay in shape? Do you workout? Diet?

Since Brady was born we are still figuring that out :). I usually like to go to the gym early, around 5am to get it in.  Jordan and I both go to the same boot camp, so if it’s been a rough night or I just can't seem to get myself out of bed at 5am, we go together with all the kids!  I try and get in 60 minutes about 3-4 days/week. I also eat relatively healthy- of course I love my fair share of junk and Vente iced coffee is my weakness, but over all we maintain a balance pretty well and try to limit eating out to once a week, for both health and financial reasons.  Some weeks we stand by that rule and other weeks its pizza every night! Regardless, feeding five mouths, including a toddler that out-eats everyone, can be so expensive!

Do you get ready every day? Makeup, hair and curated outfits?  If so, how do you do it with children? 

Definitely NOT! There are some days (when I don't leave the house) that I stay in my pajamas all day. The kids don't get dressed either! Other days I throw a ball cap over my dirty hair, do a little touch up with some concealer under my eyes and + tinted moisturizer and get whatever errands I need to get done wearing a t-shirt and jeans or leggings. Honestly, these days, if my hair is fixed I feel put together, more so than a full face of makeup.  I wash my hair about twice a week and I'm lucky that it only takes a little touching up with the flat iron between washes (including those days that I hit up boot camp) I just blow dry that sweat right out! Outfits are never curated unless we have set plans for the day (lunch date, church, family outings, etc).  I have found that if I have an idea of what I want to wear before the rush of getting one billion people ready for the day it helps with the overall management of chaos.                                                                          

Has your style changed after motherhood?

Totally! There was a time in my life before kids that I would never leave the house without a full face of makeup and a shower. I dressed very conservatively for work (slacks, blouses, blazers, and heels) so that carried over into my weekend life, too!  Big chunky accessories (early 2000's that was all the rage, am I right??) and I didn't understand how valuable sneakers were to my life until after I had children.  These days I wear scrubs to work and live in my favorite boyfriend jeans and a casual tee, and sneakers.  Oh how I love my sneakers. 

What’s your guilty pleasure?

I could not live without coffee. I actually love the flavor and drink it for that rather than the caffeine component (I usually drink half-caf or decaf while nursing). I have been known to drive through Starbucks twice while being out and about running errands. While I work out the only thing I can think of is the fact that I get to have a coffee afterwards, and when I am up nursing Brady through the night I cannot wait until the 'morning' when I can brew my first cup. I've turned into my mother.

If you breastfeed, how do you schedule your day around feedings and outings?

I usually try to breastfeed Brady right before we leave the house. My goal is within an hour of leaving so that we can actually get out and about and have some time to get things done before I'm sitting in the car to nurse him.  He usually takes his first nap around 10:30am, so if I feed him right before then he will sleep in the car (most of the time!) until it’s time to eat again.

How many hours of sleep to you get a night on average?

I'm usually in bed between 10 pm-11 pm and I'm up at 4:30 am for my 5 am workout OR if I don't get up that day for boot camp I'm getting up about 7:30 am. I'm dragging by dinner time and then will get my second wind around 8 pm after the kids go to bed. So I would say between 6-8 hours at night.

What is a priority for you, and what gets sacrificed? For example, everyone looks great but the house is a disaster, or the house is clean but work deadlines get pushed back.

I'm such a stickler for my house being "put together". It sounds silly, but it drives me batty to come home a messy house (like the playroom turned upside town, or dishes in the sink). That being said, it comes last on the list when we have somewhere to be or if I have to work on getting something done. No matter what, the house is put together and the kitchen is clean before I go to bed at night, so it might fall under "a clean house over sleep" ha!

Do you cook meals every day for your family? If so, how do you plan them?

Because of Jordan's schedule I only cook about 2-3 nights/week.  We try to eat out just once or twice/week and the other days me and the kids just eat whatever we feel like (macaroni from a box, cereal, peanut butter toast). When I meal plan I do it early in the week while I'm making my grocery list so I have all the ingredients on hand and it keeps me motivated to actually cook the meal when I have a plan in place.

Have you ever felt like you are losing yourself to motherhood and or life? If so, how did you bounce back?

There was a time before Baker was born that I felt like I couldn't get in the groove of life with kids.  I was trying to find my voice, routine, and manage working and being a wife, too.  Thankfully I have a husband that is a huge advocate of ME. He knows how important it is that I have “me” time and allows me to do pretty much do what I need to feel secure in my role, both at home and professionally. 

Does hubby help you with anything particular? If so, what and how?

Jordan is a huge help to my day to day but also as my number one supporter in this crazy life we live right now. I can literally look at him and say "I need a break" and as long as its an appropriate time he will let me go decompress or take off and grab a coffee by myself.

How do you manage motherhood and marriage?

Jordan and I are a TEAM, an incredible team.  We work together to manage our kiddos and some days we are going through the motions of life to just make it to bedtime, but we always make time to catch up.  Date nights are few and far in between these days, but we try to chat in the car, before bedtime, and always ask each other "how are you doing" looking for the real answer outside of "fine".  We have learned the right time to actually ask these questions is when we can actually finish the conversation and the wrong time is to try to have this conversation in the middle of wrangling babies for bath, dinner, and bed.

Do you work? Do you work in an office or at home? What does your work consist of and how do you get it done during the week?

I work both in and outside the home.  Four days per week I work as a dietitian to newborn and premature babies in the NICU; and I work from home in between those four days as a Stitch Fix stylist. Being a stylist is more of a hobby for me than a job- I love it!  We have a nanny to help on days when I am not home, and I try to do SF on the days that Jordan is around or fit it in early in the morning before the kids wake or after they go to bed in the evening. 

Have your circle of friends changed now that you're a mother? if so, how do you meet new mommy friends?

Thankfully my closest girlfriends and I have all sort of grown our families at the same time.  I have met some of my closest mommy friends through social media!  It is such a powerful platform to meet amazing women.

What’s the least favorite household chore you dread doing?

Laundry!!  I don't mind putting it all in the wash and transferring it to the dryer, but getting it folded and put away is my ultimate demise.  

Describe a recent experience when you didn’t have it “all together” and how you handled it all.

I start back to work soon, and we have a nanny helping us when I am away.  She came for a "trial run" a couple weeks ago and I totally didn't explain a million things that probably would be helpful in knowing before she starts watching my FOUR kids! She didn't text me to ask (which is probably better) and just figured it out on her own (which is awesome!).  After I got home she gave me a rundown of questions she had for next time.  I felt so defeated in that I was NOT ready to go back to work and not ready to leave my kiddos with someone else other than myself. I regrouped, bounced ideas off on Jordan for helping me remember what the nanny would need to know for next time, and hopefully she'll be set up for success when she starts!

Fill in the blank: As a mother, it's a luxury to __________________

Wash my hair. I am thankful I am able to find time to actually shower, but washing my hair is the last on my list of to-do's! 

What is your philosophy on balance and does it exist in your home?

Balance does not come easy.  It is something that is constantly changing and my once type A personality has taken a major backseat to the ins and outs of motherhood. We work hard at attempting to keep everything in order and balanced, some days it works and some days it totally doesn't.

What are your dreams outside of motherhood that you would like to accomplish?

I love style and fashion.  I have been a dietitian for a long time, and still love food and nutrition, but would absolutely love to grow my career with Stitch Fix.  Styling and helping women (and men!) find themselves comfortable in clothes that are perfect for them is so much fun!

What is one thing that keeps you sane?

I've become a night owl since having kids. I still wake up early, and actually prefer to be an early riser, but giving myself at least an hour or two to chill out, watch reality TV, or surf social media is something I've learned that helps me get through the end of my day. My mom always stayed up so late growing up and I couldn't ever figure out why, well I have three brothers and now I can completely relate to her!

What is one question you'd like to ask our fellow mama readers?

I didn't really grow up with dreams and aspirations to be a mama, let alone having four babies of my own!  I always thought in the back of my mind that I would have children, but even when I was dating Jordan very seriously, children didn't cross my mind very often.  I have discovered that now I was born to be a mama.  I would have ten more if Jordan and my body would let me!  So, my question for you all is: Looking back now, starting with your first thoughts of becoming a mother as a little girl, how does it feel to watch your children grow up now?

check out more on this series of amazing mamas!!

the blogger's guide to becoming an influencer + pitching brands

ya'll.  I am so excited to share today's post with you!  I have been working with Krista of Social Graces Media for over a year now after getting connected through a brand she represented and she has been nothing but a God send to me as I wade through this adventure of blogging I've found myself on the last several years.  I have been blogging for a long time and when I started I never once thought to myself where the future of this blog would go, what partnerships would flourish, the shape this space would take and what message I would send.  when big opportunities followed by even bigger opportunities started to present itself, I was so thankful for Krista's guidance through all this- because honestly, I was totally lost the first time someone asked for my media kit.. or requested the number of unique visitors to my site, and who the heck is the FTC. 

I have been begging her to put all this knowledge down onto paper and finally she's done it! 

As a blogger, you probably started writing because you wanted to share something with the world. Whether you’ve been doing it for years or you are just getting started, the possibility of getting PAID to share things you love with your audience is no doubt an alluring prospect. So, how does one go about doing just that? That’s a great question, of course, but one that needs explanation since there are several aspects involved. 

YOU GOTTA HAVE THE RIGHT STUFF!

Let’s look at it this way: as a blogger with all the right stuff (no worries, I’ll explain what all the “right stuff” is in just a sec), you are known as an “influencer” - the popular kid everybody wants to hang out with. Brands really, really, really want to work with influencers on social media (a.k.a. the playground) because no one trusts them (the brands) so everyone simply ignores them. 

You, on the other hand, have already devoted the work and time to building a rapport with your audience, they trust you and will easily purchase things that you suggest because they believe you when you tell them it’s something they should have. 

*Image via Pinterest

Cue the NKOTB - “Oh, oh, oh, oh oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh oh...the right stuff!” 

(This will now be stuck in your head for the rest of the day - you’re welcome).  

But just what is the “right stuff”, anyway? Let me break it down for you:

There is a myth that you have to have an audience the size of a small country to have influence but this just isn’t true. It might make you look cool to have all those followers but if none of those people interact and engage with you, they are not the right audience. In other words, they hold no value. 

The value is not in the number of followers that you have but in the percentage of followers that interact, engage, return to your blog and are genuinely interested in you and what you have to say - these people are most likely to buy, based off of your suggestions. 

This kind of love doesn’t happen overnight, folks. It takes consistent blogging about topics that are important to your people and relationship-building through social media. And you can’t just assume you have the right stuff, you have to prove it. That proof comes from analytics! So, if you haven’t already, link your site/blog to an analytics tool (hint: Google Analytics does a fabulous job...and it’s free). 

All of the data is important (to someone, somewhere, I just know it!) but for brands, the following ingredients are key to their secret sauce:

Page Views - how many people have viewed your blog over the last 30 days?

Demographics - who is your primary audience - gender & age? 

*Unique Visitors - how many new people have viewed your blog over the last 30 days? 

Bringing people back to your blog, time and time again, is most definitely something to celebrate. But...brands want to know that you’re not only good enough to bring peeps back but that you’re also attracting a decent percentage of new visitors on a regular basis, too. 

Social Drivers - which media is most responsible for driving traffic to your blog & how many followers do you have on each?

NOTE: All of this information (plus a few other key ingredients) should be packaged in a professionally branded media kit that is regularly updated so you can easily shoot it over to those that are interested in working with you. No worries if you don’t already have one, Social Graces Media can design one for you (and if you’re wondering whether or not I’m any good at it, I designed Amber’s...so, there’s that). → MEDIA KIT 

Ok, so, once you’ve armed yourself with the right audience, your analytics and your shiny new media kit, you might think it’s time to approach “Brand Central”, right!? Wrong...

YOU GOTTA DO YOUR HOMEWORK! 

First, you have to determine “who” you want to approach? Scratch that. 

The real question to ask yourself is not who you want to partner with, but who you should partner with? 

In other words, if you don’t take the time to consider whether or not a product or service is right for your brand and audience, and you start pushing every product under the sun (think: Kim Kardashian - girl doesn’t turn down an opportunity to make a buck), the fiercely-loyal followers you’ve come to know and love will run for the hills. Now that you’ve earned their trust, it’s best to pick and choose products or services that you would truly use and that would best serve your audience. Remember, they trust you - don’t let them down...or this will be you: 

*Image via Google (E News)

Not a good look. 

So, do your homework and figure out who you want to collaborate with - whether it be another blogger, a social celebrity/brand ambassador, a small business or a larger brand; you will need to narrow down the possibilities so you have a clear vision of who you will (and will not) work with. 

The second assignment in your homework, is to determine your value. 

Say what? 

What I’m saying is, I have a formula that will help you calculate what you should charge brands who want to work with you - you can read all about it HERE. This will prove helpful so you don’t undervalue or overvalue yourself...you know, rookie mistakes (wink, wink). I got you!  

YOU GOTTA FOLLOW THE RULES!

Now...this one is something TOO MANY bloggers & brands aren’t even aware of, or even if they are aware of it, they aren’t familiar with it. You don’t want to be one of them. You want to be one of us - the ones that are in-the-know about the FTC guidelines: 

*Image via Google: Brook’s Beat (Mean Girls)

Basically, to summarize, it states that if you should advertise or promote a product or service, you have to disclose that information to your followers in a clear and prominent way. This ARTICLE explains the guidelines further and even though the author is a bit blunt (to say the least), she preaches the truth - Amen! 

But just to reiterate my point, here is an example from PB+J Babes (Amber Massey’s blog):

Exhibit A

*Image via PB+J Babes (Blogspot)

Did you happen to notice her “fine print” - yeah, it isn’t so fine, is it? The section header is in a different color and all caps so that YOU will notice it and read it - which is exactly what the FTC requires of her. Let this be a good example to follow. And this doesn’t just apply to your blog, but to your social posts as well! Believe it or not, there is yet another set of rules you should be aware of, too: each social medium has their own guidelines pertaining to influencer marketing. 

This girl is crazy if she thinks I’m about to look up all these rules! 

Yep. I am. Why? Because you’ve put A LOT of hard work into building the perfect audience for your brand & I don’t want to see you get removed or banned from social media because you aren’t following their rules! Each medium is passionate about their space, just as you are about yours, and they will not hesitate to remove you if they think you are spamming their people. 

*The same link above, that directs you to a blog post on determining your value, also goes into more detail about this topic as well - click to read more. 

“YOU CAN’T RIDE IN MY LITTLE RED WAGON!” 

(are you tiring of my metaphorical magnificence yet?)

Here you are, having checked off all the boxes on the “right stuff” list. You are officially “influential” and you can now go forth with a pep-in-your-step, knowing you offer significant value to brands who want to reach your audience. Congrats, friend! You have most certainly worked hard to get here and now you get to put your sassy pants on! 

Who better to convey sass, than Miranda Lambert, herself! 

Image via Google (Lyrics: Little Red Wagon), Graphic: Social Graces Media 

If, at this point, you haven’t already started receiving requests to collaborate, you may need to let those you are interested in working with, know you exist. Now, I’m not saying you should just start throwin’ your media kit to whoever. What I am trying to convey to you, is that pitching yourself to brands or brand ambassadors is like navigating a preschool playground...you have a crowded space, with lots of players and it’s time to learn the rules of the game. 

When considering the best place to find and approach a brand, there is only one playground to meet on: social media. You are the popular kid (influencer) so you get the upper hand in choosing who you play with. Once you’ve determined why certain players would be a good fit for your brand and audience, it’s up to you to recruit them - there are a few ways to do this: 

This may go without saying but...blog about them! Use your best superpower to write about them (a product or service) and why you love them. Make sure and share it across mediums and TAG them (or use their handle) so they are made aware of your post - especially if your audience eats it up & they earn an additional profit because of your suggestion.  

Find out which social medium that brand is most active on and interact regularly. Use their custom hashtags to highlight yourself participating in their social efforts, like and comment on their posts and start a conversation about them with your followers (make sure and tag them to make them aware), etc. The point is to build a relationship so they become familiar with you. 

Take the traditional route and research the brand & their staff, determining who the best contact person is and reaching out. Send them a short-but-sweet email, attach your media kit and make sure to tell them why the two of you are a match made in marketing-heaven. Be sincere about it and show them you’ve done your homework! 

Brand Ambassadors & Small Businesses: All of the suggestions above apply to these groups as well. The point is to connect and help them see the value in what you have to offer. And just FYI: in my experience, brand ambassadors are much less likely to agree to work with you if you haven’t already taken the time to build a relationship with them.

Even though you probably get the point, I have included this very recent ARTICLE, by The Southern Coterie, that provides insights and tips from two top editors on the best ways to pitch and what to avoid - it’s definitely worth the read! 

YOU GOTTA DO YOU! 

Just some words of wisdom.. Throughout it all, though, remember this: you started your blog for a reason. Don’t forget what that reason is. Be true to you, stand your ground and always provide more value than you promise...word-of-mouth is powerful and you want the players on your playground to whisper all good things. 

To ensure a positive experience for everyone involved: Make sure you have a contract to protect you, your brand and your audience; always track the outcome of your campaign so you can provide results/benefits of your efforts; and if you are going to align yourself with another brand of any kind, make sure that you adhere to online social graces - refrain from vulgarity, engaging in highly controversial topics, posting inappropriate images, etc. 

Finally...you’ve got this. Anytime you start doubting yourself, just jam out to Miranda’s Little Red Wagon and you’ll be good-to-go! 

“...you can’t step to this backyard swagger!” 

Krista Cassidy is the founder of Social Graces Media, a boutique firm in Charlotte, N.C. that specializes in social media, digital marketing and branding. She empowers creatives & entrepreneurs with the knowledge, tools & resources in growing their businesses using contemporary marketing & advertising methods (including the importance of online social graces). When she isn’t consulting, blogging, making e-courses or planning workshops, the few hours left in her day are filled with the love & laughter of twin 5-year-olds. And a little sleep. Maybe. If she’s lucky. 

sleep training 101

there is no one in this world that loves my Baker girl more than me. as I sit here typing this, I can see her sweetly sleeping on the monitor and I want nothing more than to just scoop her up in my arms and hold her for the night's entirety.  

Baker would agree.  

sleep with all my kids has been a tough journey.  after months of dealing with Jolie's torticollis and then Parker refusing to sleep through the night until she was fifteen months old, I swore I wasn't going to be able to handle sleepless nights with my infant AND my toddlers.  

sleep is the number one question a new mom gets asked about.. as if the dark circles under her eyes aren't enough of the story to tell.. 

I scoured blogs and read books and articles and reached out to my seasoned mama friends for advice and found a form of sleep training that worked for us and I think might work for you, too!

we started sleep training based on the recommended age of 6 months + 14 pounds.  that age range kept popping up in all the literature read, regardless of the 'type' of sleep training method it was.. so I figured that was a safe place to start.

ground rules.

a few things to focus on when you are 'sleep training'.

number one // and most important! // set a regular and expectant routine for your baby. 

number two // slowly wean your baby from eating through the night.

number three // give your baby the attention she needs when she needs it.

number four // if it doesn't work this time, try, try again.

number five // last but not least!! // sleep training does not have to mean cry it out.

so.  now that we have the ground rules laid out.. 

first things first.  creating a routine.  children are creatures of habit.  they thrive and thrive well on a routine.  for the first few months of Baker's baby life we sort of just winged it.  we were exhausted and so in love with our newest little girl, so whatever she needed she got.  she ate when she wanted, she slept when wanted, wherever she wanted.  there was no real routine. it made it really hard to know how long she was going to sleep or when she was going to want to eat.  when we decided to get into a regular routine with her, we started with daytime. getting into a regular daytime routine allowed us to transition this routine to the evening and ultimately making it easier to get her to bed without a fight.  we started Baker on her daytime routine around 5 months and worked on this routine for about 2 weeks before we really had it down to something regular.  we are so busy with the twins in the afternoons, so making sure she gets an afternoon nap is like pulling a rabbit out of a hat.. but since we started her on solid food (6 months), her evening routine fell into place really easily.  

daytime routine: 

6-6:30am: nurse + back to bed

wake for the day: 7:30-8am

9am: nurse

10am: yogurt + fruit or almond butter

10:30am: nap

1pm: nurse

2:30-3pm: nap

4pm: nurse

6pm: dinner

7-7:30pm: bed

during the first few weeks of getting into our new routine I created a consistency surrounding nap time so that she would know what to expect when it was time to sleep.  we really made an effort of always letting her take her naps in her crib and getting out of the habit of letting her sleep in the car or the swing.. or in our arms.  getting her to take consistent sleep during the daytime definitely helped make it easy to regulate her nighttime sleep.  she currently sleeps about 2-3 hours in the morning and 1-2 hours in the afternoon.  

because these two naps during the day are relatively long, she doesn't typically take an evening cat nap.

as far as our nap time routine, Baker sleeps in a dim room with a sound machine and humidifier on.  I always make sure her sleep space is dark because a baby can wake up after a sleep cycle and get distracted by the colors or things on the wall and wake completely.  I can always tell this is the case if she wakes after just 30-45 minutes.. not because she's ready to be awake but because something has caught her attention (and screwed me out of finishing my lunch in silence, hehe!) 

when it comes to laying her down awake- thats hit or miss.  occasionally I will nurse her to sleep (gasp!) but like I mentioned in her 7 month update this is our quiet time away from he chaos of the day, just the two of us together.  and then there are some times when she is in a playful mood- attempting to stick her paci in my mouth or playing with my hair.  so, in those instances, she is laid in her crib to go to sleep and she will fuss here and there for a few minutes and then self soothe to sleep.. so I know she can do it without me.  

after we got her nap/sleep schedule down during the day, we started with nighttime.  

our nighttime includes:

dinner time + bath.  

every night, more or less, baker is bathed in lavender soap and then rubbed down with lavender lotion before getting in her jammies and telling everyone good night.

sound machine + humidifier + sleep sac + paci.

the main difference between nap/daytime sleep and bed/nighttime sleep is that she sleeps in a sleep sac during the night.  I have no idea if that makes a difference, but she sleeps well when she wears it through the night, so.. lets just go with it.  I have read that sleep association is real, so it could very well have something to do with it.  lastly- I put her down for bed relatively early- about 7 or 7:30pm every night.  thinking that keeping your baby awake later will make her more tired may actually backfire and create a harder time for your baby to fall asleep because they are overtired.  

I have read that babies who go to bed earlier typically sleep longer.  

second.  weaning.  this was among the toughest part of the entire sleep training process.  Up until this point, anytime Baker fussed even the slightest bit, I would run in and offer her my boob.  she would nurse for like a half a minute and fall back asleep.  I was exhausted!  I had even started bringing her into the bed with us through the night, which is a HUGE no-no, not because of the fact that we are SO AGAINST co-sleeping, but because Jordan is a paramedic that has been on one too many (horrific) major medical calls related infants sleeping this way.  in turn, Baker developed this dire need of needing me to soothe her to sleep any time she woke.  most of the time it was about 2-3 times/night.  I knew when it was time to sleep train her that it also meant that I needed to stop allowing her to nurse whenever she pleased at all hours of the night.  

night one I still fed her through the night, but only as a last resort. on night two and three I fed her one less time through the night.  even if it was just me rocking her through the feeding time, no matter how much she fussed about it.   night four she actually slept all night!  and night five-seven she woke again, but only once and I did not offer to feed her.

NOTE: sleep training was also coupled with her starting solid foods in the evening time, so I think it was helpful for her to fill up on solids and a quick nursing session before bed to allow her to feel full for a little longer through the night than she would have before now.    

three. attention.  this process for us took about two weeks.  week one was focused on weaning and getting Baker used to not eating/suckling through the night and the second week we worked on self soothing.  the second week was much easier than the first week.  during this time it was hard some nights because I just wanted to hold her and squeeze her.. and some nights I definitely did.  because she needed it.  sleep training doesn't have to be horrific or complete abandonment, so I gave her the attention she needed when she needed it.  Before your put your babes down at night, be sure they have a dry diaper, comfortable sleepwear, and that they won't be too cold!  We keep our house at 69-72 degrees at night, and I have Baker in a footed sleeper or footless with socks and a sleep sac.  chances are if you are cold/hot, then your babe is, too.  So however you need to bundle or strip them during the night, just simply making sure they are as comfortable as possible is most important.

four. try again.  after three successful weeks of sleep training Baker girl was sleeping well, a full 12 hours at night, and we were sleeping like babies- Baker became stuffy and coughing.  she was coughing all night long causing herself to wake and because she was stuffy she had a really hard time soothing herself back to sleep.  there were a few nights that I was up and down with her multiple times to rock and hold her- sleeping sitting up was easier on her breathing and sleeping through the night.  after she was well again we took a hard stance in sleep training for a second time and this time it was successful right off the bat. much easier than the first time around.

five. always assess the cry.  if Baker wakes crying, I always wait and assess. what type of cry is it?  at this point in development, babies usually have a distinguished cry for certain needs -hunger, upset, pain..What time is it? this cry might be out of habit if its around the same time every night. in the second week of sleep training, for about three nights in a row Baker woke at 330am, fussed for about 5 minutes and went right back to sleep while I stood outside her door to assess whether or not her cry was changing or advancing to something for stressful than a 'fuss'.  is this cry new? If it's new, or a different cry I always go in and check her.  this is where I bring in the classic '10 minute window'.  If after 10 minutes Baker is still upset, I go in and check her, settle her down for a few minutes, by rubbing her back and her head and telling her calmly that she's "a good girl" and "mama loves you so much".  I didnt ever pick her up because I didnt want her to expect that she was going to be picked up and held every time she made a peep.  one thing I had to teach myself was not to respond to every noise Baker makes. I had to learn to distinguish a real cry from a sleepy whimper.  this gives Baker the ability to self soothe but also allows me to be able to comfort her when she needs it.

--

it’s not realistic to expect your baby to sleep through the night a few weeks after they are born. it is also not realistic to think that it may not take a little bit of work. sleep training isn't for everyone, I know, and I didn't think it was completely for us until I found a method that worked well and we stuck to it and was a success!  one thing I will say is that sleep training based on your child's temperament is important.  going back through number three and four of my post might be necessary based on the developmental milestones your babe might be going through at the time.  Baker just started to crawl (what?!!) and is cutting her two bottom teeth (at the same time!!), so this last week I have noticed her restlessness on the monitor, but again, assessing her fussing to determine if I need to go in to soothe her or not.  

I am definitely NOT AN EXPERT, but I did find comfort in reading other women's experiences, and I decided to write it all down in hopes to help another tired soul get her way back to sound slumber:)

Weekend DIY

Its been one of those weeks where I just felt like today would never everrrrr get here. 

ever.

I have officially reached the stage in pregnancy when I am completely unmotivated and just want to be incredibly lazy.  My co-workers are lucky that I arrive to work (late) every morning in a 'presentable' manner.  The no-pants club hasn't made its debut to all these biz professionals.

yet.

My nesting comes in sprees and most often when I am awake to midnight doing piddle-y things to make me feel more accomplished and free to go to bed.  Other times I cant bring myself to get off the couch to do a darn thing.

BUT- I promised a Weekend DIY in the title of this blog post, which is what likely drew you in to read.

Truth be told, this little blog-o-mine will never be a credible DIY blog, as badly as I wish to be crafty.  I have plenty of ideas, but my OCD brain never allows the follow through.

BUT..

..for your Weekend DIY: The perfect bubble bath.

I have become pretty crafty with getting the perfect suds for a couple of my favorite girls - and while its not a great big secret, I get asked about them often.. because, well a lot of my grammable material is in the tub.  It is absolutely their most favorite place to be right now. 

Did you know there is like seven hundred different recipes for making your own bubble bath via Pinterest? You wont find a recipe here.

Tubby Todd Bubble Bath + a couple squirts of regular dish soap

=

bubbles for dayyyys.

If you really want to get a good sud going, you could also soften your water first.  If you have hard water, add a little baking soda to the water and stir that around and then add the bubbles- they will froth up a lot more.

The best end to my week is looking forward to a weekend with these two bubble babes and their daddy.  Bring on the weekend!

More #bubbletubfortwo sweetness