sleep coupons | a method to the madness of getting my kids to sleep through the night

sleep.  an ongoing issue in my house for the last four years.  the twins have never really slept that great.. so then Baker came along and was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks and would go down like clock work at 7PM and not wake until well past 9AM once she hit a year old. I was floored by how well she slept because I thought all kids just sucked it up in the sleep department.  

as we approach year five with the twins things have progressively gotten worse and most recently its just been plain terrible.  no other words to describe it and I have never been so tired IN MY LIFE. an infant waking me a couple times at night is one thing but couple that with two other kids up and down for hours every night and I'm basically running on fumes.

I've been searching for ideas and ways to work through this stage with them, and much to my surprise its not just my kids going through this. a lot of other mamas have the same issues surrounding sleep and going to bed and staying in bed.

phew. 

 a couple weeks ago I had mentioned to a friend about these struggles and it happened that she had recently brought it up to her pediatrician and he mentioned that with his older kids he does sleep coupons.

SLEEP COUPONS?! 

collecting sleep coupons for getting in bed at night and staying all night will earn them one coupon and they can "spend" it however they please.

the method.

the biggest part about this method is offering the kids a real explanation about what to expect. allowing the girls to have control over their sleep habits with a reward has proven to be really beneficial! I roped Baker into this because she wants nothing more than to be included with the "big girls" and while I don't know if she will truly understand "saving" her coupons for something 'bigger' she has totally kept up with the concept since we started this about a week ago.

they each get a coupon before going to bed at night and they are allowed to keep the coupon as long as they go to bed without a fight and stay in bed all night. if they wake at all for something other than to use the bathroom (or they are puking.. I'll give them that. but only if they wake their dad first.) they have to hand over their coupon in the morning. I don't take the coupon away at night in the moment mainly because I don't want to cause a FREAK OUT fit.  so I wait to deal with that consequence in the morning. 

NIGHT #1:: on the first night Jolie woke just twice (normally its about 4+ times) and in the morning I talked her through her waking up and why I was going to be taking the coupon.  since it was the first night and a brand new concept, gave them a trial pass, but explained that if she woke me up the next night I would indeed take the coupon away.

NIGHT #2::  Parker fought me quite a bit about going to bed but after a gentle reminder that she was going to lose her coupon if she didn't settle down + lay down she chilled out pretty quick.  AND no one made a single peep all night!!  normally it takes at least an hour or longer for bedtime, but not this time.
NIGHT #3:: no fight at bedtime!  they got into bed after putting their coupon in their little box on their dresser and talked about what they were saving their coupons for.

it was SO CUTE how excited they were.

Jolie is saving her coupons for a Doc McStuffin's toy and Parker has her heart set on a tiger's blood flavored sno cone.
NIGHT #4:: HORRIBLE.  it was raining off and on and we are not a fan at all about the rain and thunder over here.. but Jolie had me up about 6 times and Parker just once.  the next morning I told the girls to go get their sleep coupons off their dresser and turn them in to me since they didn't sleep through the night. they handed them over and I told them that we would try again that night.

the reward.

2 coupons :: 30 minutes of iPad time

3 coupons :: ice cream or sno cone

6 coupons :: nail salon for a mani and a pedi with mama

9 coupons :: trip to target to pick out a toy of their choice 

12 coupons :: movie date night + pop corn and candy

I had my girl Sarah, creative brain at CKFireboots, put together the perfect little coupon for us to use- complete with unique personalization + darling little figure on the front.  I designed them with the girls' favorite colors in mind and dressed in cute little pajamas.  you can find the custom listing for these sleep coupons HERE!
I downloaded the PDF and sent them over to office max or something of the like to be printed and laminated so they will hold up well with use.

AND, before I forget, Sarah so graciously offered my readers a discount!
use code MASSEY10 for 10% off your entire purchase.
(btw: everything in her shop is ridiculously affordable with or without the discount code!)

I'm really excited for the girls and for this random trial and error with the sleep coupons.  we haven't spent any coupons YET, but when we do I think it is going to really drive home the point of this method with the girls.

as always, I want to hear from other mamas about their experiences with sleep! send me all the tips and tricks:)

newborn sleep essentials | tips + tricks

after four babies I think I've gotten a pretty good handle on what healthy sleep looks like for an infant.  that being said, all four of my kids have slept completely different from each other.   I've heard a billion things in regards to what it technically means for a baby to sleep through the night.  somewhere along the way someone has offered the magic "6 hour" timeframe and stated that was technically sleeping through he night. but goodness, in those early weeks I would be grateful for just a consistent 3-4 hours, am I right?  cluster feeds are not fun!

as first time parents with the twins, neither Jordan or myself had any clue as to what to expect as far as sleep goes with them.  Jolie was tiny- four and a half pounds of tiny.  she grunted and snorted like premature baby would keeping me up all night long worrying about her and checking her with every peep she made.  they both slept in a single pack and play in our room until about 4 months of age and we moved them to their separate cribs and neither slept through the night EVER.  Jolie finally figured it out around 6 months of age, but Parker didn't sleep through the night at all until about 15 months old.  even then she would only give me a full night's sleep randomly about once a week. at age four they are both in bed around 8pm.. often still awake until after 9pm and Parker wakes me once a night for a hug and is up every morning before the sun. 

Baker is an amazing sleeper. AMAZING.  she also slept in the pack and play in our room and was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks of age, flipped to her belly to combat a bit of reflux and she found her thumb really early and would self soothe through the night.  way different than the two before her.  around 6 months I did have to go through some sleep training with her (see my post on sleep training without CIO HERE) and worked like a charm.  Baker now goes to bed around 7-7:30pm every night and will sleep about 14 hours.  she prefers to stay in her crib until well after 9am in the morning.

so, now there is Brady. I will say that he sleeps pretty well so far!  one thing I did do before with the other three, and have been doing with Brady now, is maintained a consistent sleep routine.  with the twins we were totally winging it.  we didn't know what we were doing at all, and I think I can speak to most first time parents in that those first couple months are a total blur.  I tried my best to follow routine and keep up with what all the books and apps were telling me to do for them regarding sleep but every day looked different for us and with two babes it was a little bit more difficult to manage.  when Baker came along, I was more seasoned and went straight to work on getting her into that sleep routine I had attempted before.  I have found that there are a handful of items and processes that have worked with all four of my kids and I hope that you guys can benefit from my sharing what we do!  

routine 

I mentioned in Brady's 2 month update (HERE) that we recently started working with him on getting into a consistent sleep routine.  before now I was really focusing on getting to know him and his natural habits.. feeding him on demand, which included through the night.  reflux played a part against us in the sleep department, but once we got that under control I started him on a trail routine.  it definitely takes some tweaks and changes depending on your little one, but so far this is working for us!

bedtime routine @ 10 weeks

9pm: bath soak- usually about 20 minutes, bathed in lavender soap (we love Tubby Todd!) 

9:30pm: out of the bath, rub down with lavender lotion and into our jammies!

9:45-10pm: nurse + bed

bathtime really is a huge component to our bedtime routine.  I've learned that giving Brady a bath, no matter if its outside of that nine o'clock time frame, helps him sleep more soundly and also gives him the sense that okay this is what we do around bedtime.  he has come to really love the bath and it offers time to let him relax and chill out before he goes to sleep for the night.

you can find Brady's bath seat HERE

location

Brady sleeps in the dockatot- which we have been absolutely LOVING. I get asked about the dockatot all the time! I won't say that it is magical and can 100% guarantee that it will make your baby sleep through the night, because so many other things factor into healthy sleep for you and baby, but it is really something both Jordan and myself have come to love using for Brady.  we have used it for travel and will eventually use it in transitioning to the crib and upgrade to the larger dockatot grand as he continues to grow.  consistency is HUGE when it comes to healthy sleep habits, which is why the dock is so awesome.. we just move it around as we wish! Brady sleeps in the dock in our bed, and for now this is the only place he sleeps at night.  when I make the transition to his crib here in another couple months there will be a whole new process, especially when he starts napping in his crib, but at this age Brady knows that when he is in the dockatot that it is bedtime.

full belly

AND burped!  

personally I think the very best way to ensure a great sleep is to make sure they are fully fed and burped!  with Brady's reflux issues I have had to make sure he is burped really well before I lay him down or he will be awake about a half hour later with gas troubles.  holding him upright just about 10 minutes or so after he's eaten for the last time before bed is extra helpful in keeping him comfortable to get into a deep sleep and to hopefully sleep through the night.  I also have learned that the more the baby eats during the day the longer and more satisfied he will be through the night.  be really consistent with feeding your infant every 3 hours while you are trying to establish a sleep routine.  if he's sleeping randomly for a 4 or 5 hour stint through the day then he will make up for what he's missing out on during the night.

the swaddle

when it comes to swaddling, all of my kids have been different.  the twins were in the swaddle until almost 6 months.. no joke.  they loved it.  they were swaddles at night and during the day for nap time.  they were smaller than your average, so size wise they might have been the equivalent to a four month old, maybe? after we got them out of the swaddle, Parker and Jolie transitioned to sleep sacs and slept in sleep sacs until they were over a year old.  

the swaddle had its 15 minutes of fame with Baker and then she was done.  we stopped swaddling her all together by 6 weeks of age and after we moved her out of our room at four months she used a sleep sac until about 6 months.  she didn't care for it the same as the twins- maybe because she's a summer babe and its so hot she didn't need/want the extra coverage?

so, now with Brady, we are back at it with the swaddle.  nighttime is the only time we swaddle him and we have discovered the most AMAZING swaddle (they have sleep sacs, too!) nested bean has created the Zen Swaddle, which offers a breathable lightweight option for swaddling Brady.  the swaddle features a weighted egg on the chest and sides of the swaddle that simulated the weight of my hand so he falls asleep with the comfort of mom or dad close by.  not to mention that the fabric has the perfect amount of stretch to get him in a good solid swaddle- the tighter the better as it helps him feel the most secure.  once Brady is swaddled he knows its time for bed! when we transition out of the swaddle (the Zen Swaddle is useable for babies 0-6 months of age) I'm totally getting my hands on the Zen Sac to keep up with comforted sleep habits.

wanna try one out for yourself?? I'm so excited to share that the great folks at the nested bean are offering a special discount for my readers!  use code MASSEY15 for 15% off your entire purchase!

if you have any tips and tricks for sleep that you have done with your babies I would love to hear them! I'm always learning as I go and getting encouraging feedback from you guys is just the best!! 

sleep training 101

there is no one in this world that loves my Baker girl more than me. as I sit here typing this, I can see her sweetly sleeping on the monitor and I want nothing more than to just scoop her up in my arms and hold her for the night's entirety.  

Baker would agree.  

sleep with all my kids has been a tough journey.  after months of dealing with Jolie's torticollis and then Parker refusing to sleep through the night until she was fifteen months old, I swore I wasn't going to be able to handle sleepless nights with my infant AND my toddlers.  

sleep is the number one question a new mom gets asked about.. as if the dark circles under her eyes aren't enough of the story to tell.. 

I scoured blogs and read books and articles and reached out to my seasoned mama friends for advice and found a form of sleep training that worked for us and I think might work for you, too!

we started sleep training based on the recommended age of 6 months + 14 pounds.  that age range kept popping up in all the literature read, regardless of the 'type' of sleep training method it was.. so I figured that was a safe place to start.

ground rules.

a few things to focus on when you are 'sleep training'.

number one // and most important! // set a regular and expectant routine for your baby. 

number two // slowly wean your baby from eating through the night.

number three // give your baby the attention she needs when she needs it.

number four // if it doesn't work this time, try, try again.

number five // last but not least!! // sleep training does not have to mean cry it out.

so.  now that we have the ground rules laid out.. 

first things first.  creating a routine.  children are creatures of habit.  they thrive and thrive well on a routine.  for the first few months of Baker's baby life we sort of just winged it.  we were exhausted and so in love with our newest little girl, so whatever she needed she got.  she ate when she wanted, she slept when wanted, wherever she wanted.  there was no real routine. it made it really hard to know how long she was going to sleep or when she was going to want to eat.  when we decided to get into a regular routine with her, we started with daytime. getting into a regular daytime routine allowed us to transition this routine to the evening and ultimately making it easier to get her to bed without a fight.  we started Baker on her daytime routine around 5 months and worked on this routine for about 2 weeks before we really had it down to something regular.  we are so busy with the twins in the afternoons, so making sure she gets an afternoon nap is like pulling a rabbit out of a hat.. but since we started her on solid food (6 months), her evening routine fell into place really easily.  

daytime routine: 

6-6:30am: nurse + back to bed

wake for the day: 7:30-8am

9am: nurse

10am: yogurt + fruit or almond butter

10:30am: nap

1pm: nurse

2:30-3pm: nap

4pm: nurse

6pm: dinner

7-7:30pm: bed

during the first few weeks of getting into our new routine I created a consistency surrounding nap time so that she would know what to expect when it was time to sleep.  we really made an effort of always letting her take her naps in her crib and getting out of the habit of letting her sleep in the car or the swing.. or in our arms.  getting her to take consistent sleep during the daytime definitely helped make it easy to regulate her nighttime sleep.  she currently sleeps about 2-3 hours in the morning and 1-2 hours in the afternoon.  

because these two naps during the day are relatively long, she doesn't typically take an evening cat nap.

as far as our nap time routine, Baker sleeps in a dim room with a sound machine and humidifier on.  I always make sure her sleep space is dark because a baby can wake up after a sleep cycle and get distracted by the colors or things on the wall and wake completely.  I can always tell this is the case if she wakes after just 30-45 minutes.. not because she's ready to be awake but because something has caught her attention (and screwed me out of finishing my lunch in silence, hehe!) 

when it comes to laying her down awake- thats hit or miss.  occasionally I will nurse her to sleep (gasp!) but like I mentioned in her 7 month update this is our quiet time away from he chaos of the day, just the two of us together.  and then there are some times when she is in a playful mood- attempting to stick her paci in my mouth or playing with my hair.  so, in those instances, she is laid in her crib to go to sleep and she will fuss here and there for a few minutes and then self soothe to sleep.. so I know she can do it without me.  

after we got her nap/sleep schedule down during the day, we started with nighttime.  

our nighttime includes:

dinner time + bath.  

every night, more or less, baker is bathed in lavender soap and then rubbed down with lavender lotion before getting in her jammies and telling everyone good night.

sound machine + humidifier + sleep sac + paci.

the main difference between nap/daytime sleep and bed/nighttime sleep is that she sleeps in a sleep sac during the night.  I have no idea if that makes a difference, but she sleeps well when she wears it through the night, so.. lets just go with it.  I have read that sleep association is real, so it could very well have something to do with it.  lastly- I put her down for bed relatively early- about 7 or 7:30pm every night.  thinking that keeping your baby awake later will make her more tired may actually backfire and create a harder time for your baby to fall asleep because they are overtired.  

I have read that babies who go to bed earlier typically sleep longer.  

second.  weaning.  this was among the toughest part of the entire sleep training process.  Up until this point, anytime Baker fussed even the slightest bit, I would run in and offer her my boob.  she would nurse for like a half a minute and fall back asleep.  I was exhausted!  I had even started bringing her into the bed with us through the night, which is a HUGE no-no, not because of the fact that we are SO AGAINST co-sleeping, but because Jordan is a paramedic that has been on one too many (horrific) major medical calls related infants sleeping this way.  in turn, Baker developed this dire need of needing me to soothe her to sleep any time she woke.  most of the time it was about 2-3 times/night.  I knew when it was time to sleep train her that it also meant that I needed to stop allowing her to nurse whenever she pleased at all hours of the night.  

night one I still fed her through the night, but only as a last resort. on night two and three I fed her one less time through the night.  even if it was just me rocking her through the feeding time, no matter how much she fussed about it.   night four she actually slept all night!  and night five-seven she woke again, but only once and I did not offer to feed her.

NOTE: sleep training was also coupled with her starting solid foods in the evening time, so I think it was helpful for her to fill up on solids and a quick nursing session before bed to allow her to feel full for a little longer through the night than she would have before now.    

three. attention.  this process for us took about two weeks.  week one was focused on weaning and getting Baker used to not eating/suckling through the night and the second week we worked on self soothing.  the second week was much easier than the first week.  during this time it was hard some nights because I just wanted to hold her and squeeze her.. and some nights I definitely did.  because she needed it.  sleep training doesn't have to be horrific or complete abandonment, so I gave her the attention she needed when she needed it.  Before your put your babes down at night, be sure they have a dry diaper, comfortable sleepwear, and that they won't be too cold!  We keep our house at 69-72 degrees at night, and I have Baker in a footed sleeper or footless with socks and a sleep sac.  chances are if you are cold/hot, then your babe is, too.  So however you need to bundle or strip them during the night, just simply making sure they are as comfortable as possible is most important.

four. try again.  after three successful weeks of sleep training Baker girl was sleeping well, a full 12 hours at night, and we were sleeping like babies- Baker became stuffy and coughing.  she was coughing all night long causing herself to wake and because she was stuffy she had a really hard time soothing herself back to sleep.  there were a few nights that I was up and down with her multiple times to rock and hold her- sleeping sitting up was easier on her breathing and sleeping through the night.  after she was well again we took a hard stance in sleep training for a second time and this time it was successful right off the bat. much easier than the first time around.

five. always assess the cry.  if Baker wakes crying, I always wait and assess. what type of cry is it?  at this point in development, babies usually have a distinguished cry for certain needs -hunger, upset, pain..What time is it? this cry might be out of habit if its around the same time every night. in the second week of sleep training, for about three nights in a row Baker woke at 330am, fussed for about 5 minutes and went right back to sleep while I stood outside her door to assess whether or not her cry was changing or advancing to something for stressful than a 'fuss'.  is this cry new? If it's new, or a different cry I always go in and check her.  this is where I bring in the classic '10 minute window'.  If after 10 minutes Baker is still upset, I go in and check her, settle her down for a few minutes, by rubbing her back and her head and telling her calmly that she's "a good girl" and "mama loves you so much".  I didnt ever pick her up because I didnt want her to expect that she was going to be picked up and held every time she made a peep.  one thing I had to teach myself was not to respond to every noise Baker makes. I had to learn to distinguish a real cry from a sleepy whimper.  this gives Baker the ability to self soothe but also allows me to be able to comfort her when she needs it.

--

it’s not realistic to expect your baby to sleep through the night a few weeks after they are born. it is also not realistic to think that it may not take a little bit of work. sleep training isn't for everyone, I know, and I didn't think it was completely for us until I found a method that worked well and we stuck to it and was a success!  one thing I will say is that sleep training based on your child's temperament is important.  going back through number three and four of my post might be necessary based on the developmental milestones your babe might be going through at the time.  Baker just started to crawl (what?!!) and is cutting her two bottom teeth (at the same time!!), so this last week I have noticed her restlessness on the monitor, but again, assessing her fussing to determine if I need to go in to soothe her or not.  

I am definitely NOT AN EXPERT, but I did find comfort in reading other women's experiences, and I decided to write it all down in hopes to help another tired soul get her way back to sound slumber:)

Sleep Transition | Beddy's Review

Sleep in this house has been a weird source of frustration, joy, discouragement, confusion, and peace. So many, many things can happen in two short years, but one thing is for sure- sleep has not blessed us with it's presence on a regular basis.

I am one of those people that had their twin newborns sleeping through the night at 2 weeks.  We had to wake them for feedings every three to four hours or else they and we would sleep right through. With their petite size, we couldn't afford to have them miss the opportunity to eat, so we were setting alarms.  ALL was well until month 2.  Jolie was diagnosed with torticollis and we were flung into a time of forcing her to sleep in a rather uncomfortable position - causing her to basically scream about 60% of the night.  Welcome to the sleepless nights that were 2-6 months.  Parker, however, slept right through it all.  She was our master sleeper.  

Until month 6.  Jolie finally gained full range of motion in her neck and found sleep easily, and Parker started teething, and stopped sleeping.  

From 6 months through 15 months, neither were very good sleepers.  If they were sick, stuffy, teething, feverish.. or just simply growing, they did not sleep well. Four out of seven nights we were awake with at least one of them.  We did everything, and everything worked - until it didn't.

Then finally the age of 15 months hit, and sleep settled in on this house. 

Can someone hear the angels singing?  

Since then, teething and stuffy heads keep these girls awake on occasion, but for the most part, they sleep well.

Right before their second birthday, little petite Jo Grace started having nightmares (what else..) and while we attempted to keep her in the bed, she made every way she could OUT of it.  Even after dropping the entire mattress to the floor, she still managed to meet me at the bedside.  

There is something unnerving about waking to your young child 4 inches from your face asking for a banana at 2am. 

So, we pulled off the front ends of their cribs. Getting them to stay in bed for the first week or so was cake.. and then the cake was old and, again, they were strolling though out bedroom at 2am.  Not just Jolie, but Parker, too.    

Finally, two months in, they have started to stay in their cribs again.

The biggest problem we're having is keeping their blankets and baby dolls and pillow on their beds for the entire night.  Most common reason for waking at night is that they have lost Puppy, or Wubby,  and are cold. 

When I was contacted to try out Beddy's, the video (here) had me at hello. I couldn't event image how much easier it could get when it comes to toddler's and keeping their beds tidy.  

Growing up I was obsessed with order and my room was immaculate- even to the point that I would sleep on top of my made bed so I wouldn't have to make it in the morning.  

Jordan and my youngest brother used to move things around in my room at my parents house to drive me mad and then laugh about it. 

If only Beddy's was around 22 year's ago.

 When we tried them out on Parker and Jolie's toddler day beds, they were a little too big, but nothing that a few sheet grippers couldn't fix.  Beddy's basically takes the place of your fitted sheet, your flat sheet, and comfy quilt.  All three zip together for easy making in the morning.  

Jolie & Parker absolutely LOVE to 'make' their bed.

The entire outside is quilted in gorgeous fabrics - I am obsessed with the Perfectly MisMatched    Beddy's for Parker and Jolie's room.  It goes perfectly with their original nursery color scheme, but gives it a grown-up big girl feel to their room.   

There is no way I could financially re-do their room into a big girl room + build the dreamy nursery I have planned right now.  This is a perfect transition.  

The zipper access for the quilt is on both sides, along with expanding comfort panels. This makes it comfortable and cozy for sleeping without feeling confined to a 'sleeping bag'. The comfort panels (in sweetly soft minky fabric) offer more coverage and feels like a “normal” comforter or blanket.

Parker and Jolie stay covered all night! 

For washing, the entire comforter comes right off and straight into the washing machine.  

E A S Y.

 Each set of Beddy's comes with the option of additional throw pillows to match.  

So in love with the coral and touch of turquoise. 

 With each Beddy's set comes a standard size pillow sham and matching pillow case.

 Their 'new bed' made these girls feel extra big.

And so excited to go to sleep!  Jolie was up under the covers the moment we put it all together.  

 Nap time was the first time we got to use the new Beddy's comfort system.

I'd say she's cozy.

 ...45 minutes later.  Hasn't moved a muscle.  

 Jolie is in there.  Up under the covers, her Puppy..and Elmo is in there somewhere.

I've already got my plans laid for baby girl number three and her Beddy's.  They have a new Vintage Blush option, and holy excited am I.
I mean, I am already planning a toddler bed for the baby thats still in my womb.
I'm telling you, Beddy's is the way to go.

If you are thinking about all things (and stresses!!) that go along with transition to a toddler room/bed mark the thought of bedding off your list.
Even better - Beddy's has the option for Twin, Full, and Queen size! I'd say you're all set.
Who's ready to make that 2 year old move to a twin bed?
:)