mama confessions III

this post brought to you by a starbucks run after the preschool pickup line and a random late naptime.. because a certain someone was up at 5am and then refused to nap during her normal time this morning, so I am forcing her down now.  

forcing.  theres the big fat joke of the day. 
look at that face.
..and cue the hollering "mama" from the crib.

moments with my girls have become increasingly comical.. Parker and Jolie have a mind of their very own and express it often.  if I think about it I usually type them out in the notes of my phone and eventually share them.. because most of the time they are too good not to share.

--

Parker + Jolie's preschool teacher clued me in that Parker has been inviting all her friends over for a party.. a party that consists of rubbing my belly and talking to her little brother. 

..what kind of food do I serve at this party?

I throw about 80% of preschool "art work" away. every now and then they'll come home with really cute stuff and I'll hang it up for a week or two and then it's in the trash.. err, Recycle. We r e c y c l e. 

after THE most unsuccessful ride to the park on their brand new bikes (think screaming and crying and a skinned knee..) Parker casually mentions "I don't want Santa to bring these bikes for Christmas ever, ever again."  

first parental win of 2017.

while listening to Justin Beiber radio on Pandora:

Parker: mom, you music just said BUTT.

me: ...

oh..and I probably have a crush on Justin Beiber.  probably.
I may or may not have called a radio station one morning this week 49 times in attempts to win tickets to his concert.    

Baker beats the crap out of me all day. literally giving me a giant slobbery kiss one moment and the next its a solid slap in the nose. she hits me all the time and thinks it's completely hilarious! and it's not good enough unless she's gouged my eye or pulled a chunk of my hair out. the twins never hit me before so this is.. new. 

Parker kicked me in the shin two days ago. So, um, never say neverrrr. 

see what I did there? beleiber for life.

I get anxiety about passing a bathroom and not using it.  like.. I will 100% regret not using it and scold myself later when I have to pee SO BAD.  

Parker slaps me on the butt about twice a day and tells me "I'm doing a good job".. most recently while I was washing the dinner dishes. 

I have about 14 unopened boxes of the cutest thank you cards- Target always has the best ones!  I always buy them with plans to thank people when they bring a meal or buy a gift for a birthday party or host dinner.. but not a one is ever sent.  just know that I have the best of intentions, friends.

while getting dressed for school.. mind you- its 32 degrees for the HIGH on this day:

Parker: I WILL pick out what I am going to wear!!

me: Parker, I already have laid out what you are wearing..

Parker.. carrying a pair of cotton shorties and a tee shirt out of the closet..

me: Parker, no it is VERY cold outside.  you are wearing pants and this sweater.

Parker: I LOVE THE COLD.

speaking of the cold..  when taking the pictures above:
Jolie: its reaaaaally really cold!
Parker: you better be giving me 5 candies for this.

while preparing her a pb+j for lunch:

Jordan: I cut it in half jo, is that okay or did I mess up?

Jolie: well dad. you just really messed that up didnt you. 

the morning after taking down all the Christmas decor:

Parker: ohmuhGOSH where is the TREE?! 

Jordan: well we had to take it down because it's not Christmas anymore. Maybe next year we will put it all up before thanksgiving so we can enjoy it a little longer. 

Parker: that would be splendid. 

there was a time in my life that I wouldnt leave the house without makeup on or my hair looking completely put together.
 ..I picked the girls up from preschool today in my slippers and sweatpants.  that might have been a new low for me.