the road trip that didn't happen..

well, we made it to Gurdon, Arkansas. population 2000. 

I had grand plans for an amazing Nashville trip recap this week.  we left for Memphis TN last thursday to stay one night and then on to Nashville for the rest of the weekend.

we didn't make it. 

the weather man had been talking about residual rain from Harvey but we didn't anticipate it completely ruining our time in Tennessee so we packed up the kids and dropped them with BB and Papa before heading out. we were abut 5 hours and three pitstops into the roadtrip, just crossed over the Texas-Arkansas border and all hell broke loose.  the car started sputtering/stalling out and the "check engine" light started flashing.  we pulled over.. confused and concerned because what the heck was happening with our car?! we sat on the side of the road in hopes to let the car cool off a little and maybe it would let us get to a place where we could get it checked out.. because there was nothing where we were.

we drove a few more miles up the road and finally were forced to pull into a gas station that legit looked like there wasn't a soul in site.

..and then it started to rain.

..and whatever at&t cell tower was in or around this area blacked out.  literally.

so lets recap.

no phone. no internet. no CAR. and we didn't exactly know where we were at. we ran into the desolate gas station/truck stop and thank goodness there was someone behind the register!  we asked her if she could point us in the right direction for finding a place that we could get our car looked at and she casually pointed to the shop that was in the same parking lot as the store. which also happened to be connected to a restaurant. 

we pulled our car into the shop and the sweet young guys gave it a look over.. thought it could be the battery and then also thought it could be a sensor.. they had to call someone with a computer to come and hook the car up, so we waited and waited.  Gurdon is about 30-45 minutes from the next town over in both directions, so there was a lot of waiting that day.

I checked "pumping in a truck stop" off my bucket list and we went to see about getting some lunch.  still no cell service or internet at this point, but we were able to use our waitress' cell phone (thanks, verizon!) to call Jordan's dad.  we were on the phone with him when the tower blacked out and the last he had heard was that we were having car trouble.
so we sat.  and sat.  ate a grilled cheese and a fried pie..
the cell tower booted up again around hour 4 of waiting (YAS!) and then waited some more.
by the time hour six rolled around they had finally hooked the car up to a computer and determined that one of the sensors was firing incorrectly. OKAY. so there is still hope!  they assured us that they could fix the car, but wouldn't be getting a part until maybe the next day.  maybe?? at that point we started trying to figure out if we were going to have the car towed to a dealership about 35 miles up the road or if we were going to stay put until the next morning and let them fix it.
oh and there happened to be a motel, albeit creepy AF, but there was some place to stay if we needed it.  we talked to my mom, who was a life saver in all this helping us with hotel rooms (she works for Marriott).  we cancelled all our plans for Memphis and eventually decided that our trip money was probably going to car repair.. so Nashville was off, for now.

SUPER bummed, and I might have shed a tear, we started up the car in hopes that we would be able to limp the car down the road back towards home.  the car would run, just not very well.
UNTIL we started driving.  nothing.  no check engine light.  no shuttering.  no stalling.
so we risked our chances over paying $500 to tow the car and drove about an hour back to a hotel my mom had helped us book last minute.
the car didn't make a peep.  
as we laid in our hotel room that night, still licking our wounds over the fact that the entire trip had been ruined, we watched the news reporting tornado warnings in Memphis.  and the next story was flash flooding in downtown Nashville.  I woke the next morning to a text from my mom saying that the hotel we were supposed to stay at in Nashville was evacuated and flooded.. the roads we were supposed to take were nonexistent at the moment.
if we would have made it to Tennessee we would have been stuck there for a hot minute!
we took the scenic route home and made a stop in Canton for first Monday trade days (basically the best flea market you'll ever go to.. and it happens just once a month) and made it home to these precious babies.

have you ever have one of those moments when you don't see the blessing in those exact moments,  but as it all rolls out before your eyes you kinda go "okay, Jesus.. I see you."

He totally took care of us on this one.  I was bummed about the car, which by the way has yet to even flash an engine light, but the trip wasn't going to happen either way.

SO.. instead we spent the weekend at home with the babes.  we didn't have 'plans' because we weren't even supposed to be here, so it was low key and enjoyable with my favorite people.  we hit up the nephew's bday party on Saturday afternoon where we were reunited with Jolie, Parker, Baker, and Brady. Baker wouldn't leave my lap and I wasn't mad about it! we finished off the weekend with the last swim of the summer, ordered pizza and the kids crashed early because they were zonked! church on Sunday + brunch at our favorite spot then an afternoon outside while daddy threw some chicken on the grill.  after Brady was down for the night we popped in The Lion King and snugged up with popcorn and theater candy before bed.

I took an unexpected hiatus from the blog the last couple weeks.. my plan was to get through my last week of work, come back after our trip without kids with loads of blog content and feeling refreshed. but the truth is, we are still living out of suitcases that never even saw said 'vacation' and my house looks like a tornado casually dropped in. life sometimes gets in the way of our best laid plans. and it sucks and its so annoying and I find myself the most anxious when things just aren't going my way.
but we came back and were greeted with the best weekend ever.  if only I could get myself and all these kids unpacked! best part about unpacking for a trip you didn't take is that there us way less laundry to be done..?

I say yes!

12 years (8/13/2005)

12 years of marriage.

we've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly and yet Jordan has remained by my side through it all.

the good times have been AMAZING + great.

the bad times have been heartbreaking + confusing + sad.

but we remain a unit and a team.

life is a joint effort between this handsome guy I call my husband and I absolutely wouldn't be able to get through it without him- he's the glue that holds all the pieces together, you guys.

taking a look back..

I've got (digital) pictures from about year three of our marriage to now.. and we were BABIES

this weekend we spent time away from the kiddos. we got a hotel room in downtown dallas and went out with friends to the house of blues.  Brittany's husband Tanner is an amazing musician (Texas country.. think: Pat Green) and he was opening for Mike Ryan on Saturday night, so we HAD to go out and support!!  

::check out his debut album This Town HERE::

we got a night without kids. and it was the best! 

we got dressed up and ready to 'party' like adults without kids might like to do..

we started the night with dinner at Stampede 66.. a mix of Texas + Louisiana + Mexico.. true southern flavors.  Jordan had the chicken fried buffalo + mashed potatoes + green pea salad and I enjoyed the best shrimp and grits I've ever eaten! 

with full bellies and a bottle of wine later we hit the HOB and waited for Tanner to take the stage. 

his friends and family were all there to support- seeing many that we recognized and knew from other family events (i.e. birthday parties..) but don't get to hang out with very often made the time even more fun.

selfie in the elevator at 2:30AM.  like we were 20 and 23 again.

except I'm about to be 33 with four kids at home and was desperate for my breast pump and pajama pants when we got back to the hotel room- ha!

Sunday morning came much too quick after pouring ourselves into bed after 2AM.  I'm getting so old.  the 32 year old self wished she would have given us a curfew on Saturday night to take advantage of getting all the sleep that I'm not getting at home:) cant hang like I used to!

nothing an amazing Sunday brunch couldn't cure.  we hit up Breadwinners before heading back to the 'burbs and back to the babes. 

this is 12 years.  the good, the bad + the ugly.

but mostly the GREAT.

happy anny, babe.

how does she..?

I had the amazing pleasure to contribute to the 'how does she' series over at Little Miss Dessa! the interview was posted over there last week (HERE), but I loved sharing a little bit about our day in the life I wanted to share it over on my little corner of webspace, too!  this was one elaborate interview and it took me a week to think through and complete:) 

ENJOY!  

Tell us about yourself: Where do you live, age, marital status, number of kids and business.

I'm a 32 year old married mama to 4 babes.  My husband and I have been married for 12 years this August and we live in a suburb about an hour outside of Dallas/Fort Worth. We made this our home about 5 years ago while I was pregnant with the twins.  We have four year old twins, Parker and Jolie, Baker Bree who is about to be 2 in July and a 12 week old baby boy named Brady.  I've been a Registered Dietitian for the last 8 years and have worked as a personal chef (pre-babies), nutrition counseling, and currently work 4 days/week in the NICU at a hospital.  As if I wasn't crazy enough, a little over a year ago I started working from home as a Stitch Fix stylist for fun and have fallen in love with the company.

Describe a day in the life of you.

Right now a day in the life is all up in the air… we are all still getting to know Brady and he's finally on a regular "schedule". We are able to plan around his eat/sleep times during the day and I'm on maternity leave.  Usually we are all up by 8am in the morning- Parker wakes me often before 7am and I send her back to bed until at least 7:30am because it’s hard for me to function before then, ha!  The twins drink smoothies for breakfast and watch Disney channel or read books in their room while I nurse Brady and then Baker wakes by 9:30am (she's an amazing sleeper!) and she has her own smoothie.  If we have errands we usually leave the house by 11am and we are out and about making Costco runs or hitting up the splash pad now that the weather is warming up.  I pack a lunch for all the girls and we often eat on the run!  Usually home by 3-3:30p and I put Baker down for a late nap while the girls color or chill out and watch a movie or a couple of recorded Bubble Guppies on the DVR. I take that window of quiet time to straighten up the house, unload the dishwasher, or play catch up on email and the blog.

Do you have help? A nanny or housekeeper? Family?

Oh my goodness- YES.  100% yes.  I am so thankful for the help that I have.  First of all, my husband is amazing.  I wouldn't have survived the twins, let alone have two more after the fact if he didn't help me the way that he does.  He does the laundry, manages the kiddos, runs errands with all four in tow, and he and I take turns cooking.  He is a firefighter and his work schedule allows for him to be home a lot more than a normal 40 hour 9-5 type job. We also have a housekeeper that comes every two weeks.  Jordan and I both tend to put actual cleaning at the end of our list of To-Dos and we can agree that we would literally give up our cell phones to keep our wonderful housekeeper if it came down to it.   Since the twins were born, my mother in law has kept the babies on the days that I was at work and Jordan was on shift- about 2 days per week.  After Brady was born we made the decision to hire a nanny three days per week to replace the help my MIL has given for the last 5 years. 

How do you manage to have “me” time?

As I mentioned above, my husband is around quite a bit, but that also means that I am home alone often, too.  Days that I am solo with all four of them for 24 hours while he's on shift can be exhausting! Because of that he makes it a priority that I get in some “me” time. So about once a week or every other week he allows me to go to Starbucks and work on the blog, meet a girlfriend for brunch, or get my nails done.  Just about 2 hours of uninterrupted time to myself.

How do you manage to make time to stay in shape? Do you workout? Diet?

Since Brady was born we are still figuring that out :). I usually like to go to the gym early, around 5am to get it in.  Jordan and I both go to the same boot camp, so if it’s been a rough night or I just can't seem to get myself out of bed at 5am, we go together with all the kids!  I try and get in 60 minutes about 3-4 days/week. I also eat relatively healthy- of course I love my fair share of junk and Vente iced coffee is my weakness, but over all we maintain a balance pretty well and try to limit eating out to once a week, for both health and financial reasons.  Some weeks we stand by that rule and other weeks its pizza every night! Regardless, feeding five mouths, including a toddler that out-eats everyone, can be so expensive!

Do you get ready every day? Makeup, hair and curated outfits?  If so, how do you do it with children? 

Definitely NOT! There are some days (when I don't leave the house) that I stay in my pajamas all day. The kids don't get dressed either! Other days I throw a ball cap over my dirty hair, do a little touch up with some concealer under my eyes and + tinted moisturizer and get whatever errands I need to get done wearing a t-shirt and jeans or leggings. Honestly, these days, if my hair is fixed I feel put together, more so than a full face of makeup.  I wash my hair about twice a week and I'm lucky that it only takes a little touching up with the flat iron between washes (including those days that I hit up boot camp) I just blow dry that sweat right out! Outfits are never curated unless we have set plans for the day (lunch date, church, family outings, etc).  I have found that if I have an idea of what I want to wear before the rush of getting one billion people ready for the day it helps with the overall management of chaos.                                                                          

Has your style changed after motherhood?

Totally! There was a time in my life before kids that I would never leave the house without a full face of makeup and a shower. I dressed very conservatively for work (slacks, blouses, blazers, and heels) so that carried over into my weekend life, too!  Big chunky accessories (early 2000's that was all the rage, am I right??) and I didn't understand how valuable sneakers were to my life until after I had children.  These days I wear scrubs to work and live in my favorite boyfriend jeans and a casual tee, and sneakers.  Oh how I love my sneakers. 

What’s your guilty pleasure?

I could not live without coffee. I actually love the flavor and drink it for that rather than the caffeine component (I usually drink half-caf or decaf while nursing). I have been known to drive through Starbucks twice while being out and about running errands. While I work out the only thing I can think of is the fact that I get to have a coffee afterwards, and when I am up nursing Brady through the night I cannot wait until the 'morning' when I can brew my first cup. I've turned into my mother.

If you breastfeed, how do you schedule your day around feedings and outings?

I usually try to breastfeed Brady right before we leave the house. My goal is within an hour of leaving so that we can actually get out and about and have some time to get things done before I'm sitting in the car to nurse him.  He usually takes his first nap around 10:30am, so if I feed him right before then he will sleep in the car (most of the time!) until it’s time to eat again.

How many hours of sleep to you get a night on average?

I'm usually in bed between 10 pm-11 pm and I'm up at 4:30 am for my 5 am workout OR if I don't get up that day for boot camp I'm getting up about 7:30 am. I'm dragging by dinner time and then will get my second wind around 8 pm after the kids go to bed. So I would say between 6-8 hours at night.

What is a priority for you, and what gets sacrificed? For example, everyone looks great but the house is a disaster, or the house is clean but work deadlines get pushed back.

I'm such a stickler for my house being "put together". It sounds silly, but it drives me batty to come home a messy house (like the playroom turned upside town, or dishes in the sink). That being said, it comes last on the list when we have somewhere to be or if I have to work on getting something done. No matter what, the house is put together and the kitchen is clean before I go to bed at night, so it might fall under "a clean house over sleep" ha!

Do you cook meals every day for your family? If so, how do you plan them?

Because of Jordan's schedule I only cook about 2-3 nights/week.  We try to eat out just once or twice/week and the other days me and the kids just eat whatever we feel like (macaroni from a box, cereal, peanut butter toast). When I meal plan I do it early in the week while I'm making my grocery list so I have all the ingredients on hand and it keeps me motivated to actually cook the meal when I have a plan in place.

Have you ever felt like you are losing yourself to motherhood and or life? If so, how did you bounce back?

There was a time before Baker was born that I felt like I couldn't get in the groove of life with kids.  I was trying to find my voice, routine, and manage working and being a wife, too.  Thankfully I have a husband that is a huge advocate of ME. He knows how important it is that I have “me” time and allows me to do pretty much do what I need to feel secure in my role, both at home and professionally. 

Does hubby help you with anything particular? If so, what and how?

Jordan is a huge help to my day to day but also as my number one supporter in this crazy life we live right now. I can literally look at him and say "I need a break" and as long as its an appropriate time he will let me go decompress or take off and grab a coffee by myself.

How do you manage motherhood and marriage?

Jordan and I are a TEAM, an incredible team.  We work together to manage our kiddos and some days we are going through the motions of life to just make it to bedtime, but we always make time to catch up.  Date nights are few and far in between these days, but we try to chat in the car, before bedtime, and always ask each other "how are you doing" looking for the real answer outside of "fine".  We have learned the right time to actually ask these questions is when we can actually finish the conversation and the wrong time is to try to have this conversation in the middle of wrangling babies for bath, dinner, and bed.

Do you work? Do you work in an office or at home? What does your work consist of and how do you get it done during the week?

I work both in and outside the home.  Four days per week I work as a dietitian to newborn and premature babies in the NICU; and I work from home in between those four days as a Stitch Fix stylist. Being a stylist is more of a hobby for me than a job- I love it!  We have a nanny to help on days when I am not home, and I try to do SF on the days that Jordan is around or fit it in early in the morning before the kids wake or after they go to bed in the evening. 

Have your circle of friends changed now that you're a mother? if so, how do you meet new mommy friends?

Thankfully my closest girlfriends and I have all sort of grown our families at the same time.  I have met some of my closest mommy friends through social media!  It is such a powerful platform to meet amazing women.

What’s the least favorite household chore you dread doing?

Laundry!!  I don't mind putting it all in the wash and transferring it to the dryer, but getting it folded and put away is my ultimate demise.  

Describe a recent experience when you didn’t have it “all together” and how you handled it all.

I start back to work soon, and we have a nanny helping us when I am away.  She came for a "trial run" a couple weeks ago and I totally didn't explain a million things that probably would be helpful in knowing before she starts watching my FOUR kids! She didn't text me to ask (which is probably better) and just figured it out on her own (which is awesome!).  After I got home she gave me a rundown of questions she had for next time.  I felt so defeated in that I was NOT ready to go back to work and not ready to leave my kiddos with someone else other than myself. I regrouped, bounced ideas off on Jordan for helping me remember what the nanny would need to know for next time, and hopefully she'll be set up for success when she starts!

Fill in the blank: As a mother, it's a luxury to __________________

Wash my hair. I am thankful I am able to find time to actually shower, but washing my hair is the last on my list of to-do's! 

What is your philosophy on balance and does it exist in your home?

Balance does not come easy.  It is something that is constantly changing and my once type A personality has taken a major backseat to the ins and outs of motherhood. We work hard at attempting to keep everything in order and balanced, some days it works and some days it totally doesn't.

What are your dreams outside of motherhood that you would like to accomplish?

I love style and fashion.  I have been a dietitian for a long time, and still love food and nutrition, but would absolutely love to grow my career with Stitch Fix.  Styling and helping women (and men!) find themselves comfortable in clothes that are perfect for them is so much fun!

What is one thing that keeps you sane?

I've become a night owl since having kids. I still wake up early, and actually prefer to be an early riser, but giving myself at least an hour or two to chill out, watch reality TV, or surf social media is something I've learned that helps me get through the end of my day. My mom always stayed up so late growing up and I couldn't ever figure out why, well I have three brothers and now I can completely relate to her!

What is one question you'd like to ask our fellow mama readers?

I didn't really grow up with dreams and aspirations to be a mama, let alone having four babies of my own!  I always thought in the back of my mind that I would have children, but even when I was dating Jordan very seriously, children didn't cross my mind very often.  I have discovered that now I was born to be a mama.  I would have ten more if Jordan and my body would let me!  So, my question for you all is: Looking back now, starting with your first thoughts of becoming a mother as a little girl, how does it feel to watch your children grow up now?

check out more on this series of amazing mamas!!

photo dump | life lately

I just realized that this post is full of FOOD.  that's what life lately has been about, apparently.. complete chaos surrounded by food.

truth be told there hasn't been a ton going on outside of the day to day shenanigans of managing three under four and growing a human over here.

some days its just about surviving without a complete meltdown and other days are really amazing. 

the usual:

food. cartoons. food.  target.  starbucks.  and about 800 color pages and arguments over the pink crayons.

Oh and lets talk about Baker's obsession with climbing on top of everything.  I turn my back for three seconds and she's on top of the kitchen table helping herself to all the pink crayons in the box and driving her big sisters insane.

my fridge is full of uneaten leftovers and my kids are living on hot dogs and chicken nuggets.. and the occasional box of mac and cheese.  but its the "healthy" organic kind..and I bake the chicken nuggets, so that makes it all better- right?

most of the time we end up eating cereal or toast with peanut butter.

I also have been telling myself that I'll put away the laundry that's been folded on top of the dryer for, oh, about two weeks.

taking a nap in lieu of these household chores sounds so much better.

 last weekend we met my brother and his girlfriend for brunch..and omg. it has been a minute since I have had brunch THIS amazing. chicken and waffles is probably my favorite thing on any brunch menu (its a southern thing, for sure).  the chicken had a bit of sriracha spice and the maple syrup was just the right amount of sweetness.. I'm still thinking about that meal a week later..

 ...oh and pancakes as big as yo'face!  these were on the KIDS menu!  c'mon. 

as you can see, miss Parker Jane cleaned that plate.

 

 there has been a lot of baby brother talk.  Jolie caught me getting out of the shower and casually, with a tiny bit of fear in her voice, said "that baby brother going to come out of your tummy YET?!!"

we spent almost the entire weekend in the nursery organizing.  I've mentioned before that his room is the smallest room in the house and the closet is even more pitiful.. but Jordan spent so much time in there this last week rearranging and adding shelving and rods to make the best use of that space. He also finished redoing the changing table.. which used to be a mint green chalkboard paint color with broken drawer pulls and a bottom drawer wasn't usable. and alas.. a little sanding and bright white paint.. and new copper pulls I found at hobby lobby at 50% off and we have a brand new piece! there is a door that goes over the open shelving you see on the right.. but the hinges of that door were also painted mint green:)  so we need to switch those out, but I kind of like the open shelving idea.. if I can find some wire baskets to fill the space? what do ya'll think?

finding baskets is my goal this week  I want to have baskets on the shelves regardless (for diapers and wipes and those baby essentials because the drawers will definitely be used for his clothes), but with or without the door..?

decisions, decisions!

 in the meantime we will be folding all the tiny things because the girls, especially the big girls, can stop wont stop..

and Baker's hat.  child kills me. I'm sort of bummed we are basically having the most mild mannered winter ever, but 50 degrees can still warrant knit hats. 

knit hats with giant poms. 

YAS.

 ending this post how it began.. with food.

sunday dinner this week consisted of leftover crock pot salsa chicken + a bit of shredded cheese + some kind of bulgar grain mix I had left over in the fridge from lunch last week.. rolled into a corn tortilla. oh and tomatillo hot sauce and + sour cream.

survival of the fittest.

here's to a happy Monday!!

..about how I feel about it, too, gals.

that bed head is something fierce.



life lately | motherhood is messy

real talk here on this blog this morning.  to be honest I had nothing "planned" for the blog today.. as has been for the last week.  I haven't been feeling motivation to write or plan or mess with sitting down to spend time in front of the computer when my house is basically upside down.  its been a pretty rough couple of weeks over here.  I spend my life juggling what feels like one thousand spinning plates and when those plates come crashing down, sometimes picking up the pieces aren't worth the trouble and a big fat UGLY cry is in order.  which is what I spent this morning doing behind closed doors of my bathroom while the girls ate breakfast in preparation for another busy day.

pregnancy always exacerbates every situation I'm in, and I'm basically a monster to anyone that crosses my path about 25% of the time. another 25% of me is spent sobbing and then I've got about half of myself that I feel in control of.. most of the time. 

I usually love to keep this blog light and airy and while fully transparent.. why do I want to share that I spent my Saturday in the ER because Parker was hours away of full blown sepsis and a week long hospital stay for IV antibiotics because of an infected hangnail (!!) that just kept getting worse and I'm not a worrier at heart, so I just kept treating it like any other boo-boo with paw patrol band-aids and neosporin.. or that I let strep throat go untreated in all three of my children because I thought that since the fever was gone they were "fine"..and then it turned into the most disgusting rash and off and on fevers and NO ONE eating a normal meal in weeks.

..oh, and back to precious Parker Jane, again.  she seemed to find the only fire ant pile on our half acre of a backyard and plop right down on top of it only to be eaten alive on the entire lower half of her little body.  I was sobbing as I ran from the kitchen where I was making dinner to the backyard terrified that she had broken a limb or something from the way she was screaming and flailing in the grass in true agony.  thanks to that untreated strep the ant bites (literally hundreds) turned into impetigo requiring more oral antibiotics and a topical ointment on top of what she was already on. up and down at all hours of the night and day for over a week treating her itchy legs and bootie with cream for relief.  

literally, double-you tee eff.  I cant make this stuff up.

its been since Sunday that Baker has eaten anything but a few bites of oats and yogurt. she's been waking for the day this last week around 5:30am screaming bloody murder because she's completely demolished her crib and everything in it with diarrhea.  

she's "fine" during the day, aside from being a hangry MONSTER and requiring to be on my hip at all times, but no fever.. so I'm just lost.

feeling like mother of the year, over here, guys.

tears are coming again as I even try and relive the thought of the last couple of weeks we have had to put it all down in writing.  

the emotional roller coaster I've been on with my parents, although good, has still be absolutely draining.. there are still unresolved issues with my brothers that are tearing me apart with anxiety.

..and I am not typically an anxious person at all.

I've had some hard realizations about friendship and what is really important in my life as far as keeping people close and some at a distance.. and where I stand with other friends has shown their true colors.  so much high school drama and petty expectations and I'm 32 years old.  

no one has time for that! 

we've been pretty consistent with Baker's eye patching but seeing little improvement.. even though its hardly noticeable, its all I can see when I look at her or pictures. 

all of this has hit me in the last couple weeks and its just not been easy.

I've been trying to keep up with "everything" on my long list of to-do's but I haven't been to the grocery store in weeks, Baker has been in her pajamas for three days because I'm too lazy to think about getting her dressed.. and I am wearing a ball cap for the 5th day in a row. 

but stepping away for a couple days from social media and the blog, crying it out a bit, and leaving my raw emotions here feels refreshing- in a way probably just few really understand.

being an adult is hard.

this motherhood thing is messy.  

and the vent is totally worth it.

off to Target in my ball cap and leggings sans a stitch of makeup.. and Baker will be eating donuts and still in her pajamas.

feel free to say hello if you see us:)

xo

life lately | summer is here

well.  its official.  summer is here!! 

this year has been the firs year that I actually feel like its summer. I don't know if it is because the twins let out for preschool and they are home all the time now, or if this amazing weather has arrived (goooodbye rain!) and we have basically lived at the pool for the last 5 days straight.  it could also be because I have been home a lot more lately.  there has been a recent shift in my job status, and while I am still working, its much less than before- and if I'm being honest, I am absolutely loving it.  stretching myself thin to fit it all in was taking a toll and the weight of letting it go has been the greatest relief.  I went back to my roots and took a job in a hospital near our house.. covering mostly the ICU seeing ill patients and I've also picked up the NICU as well when I'm needed.  its been a learning experience since I've been out of the clinical setting for almost 4 years, but I'm SO glad to be back!

back and feeling like my life is getting back in order and the joy of going to work is there again.  anyone with me on that feeling?  there is a lot of unknown for us, but Jordan and I both have a great peace about it all.  

SO with that..  summer.  you're HERE and we LOVE you!! 

get ready for a whole lotta baby-suit SPAM..

we kicked off the sunny weather last weekend and met our supper club friends for a potluck lunch by the pool.  we were all so fearful we would get rained out, but the sun was shining!

headwrap // ruffle swim suit

 boys. being boys.. and Jordan instigating every bit of it.

we alllllmost got the baby shot.

almost.  

I was honestly somewhat anxious of the idea of taking Baker to the pool this summer.  not because I didn't want my sweet Baker girl to get the chance to play with the big girls, but because she is so busy and I didn't want her to.. 

A.) play play play and then be over it in 15 minutes.

and 2.) literally have me chasing her everywhere.  making it impossible to take the girls solo if daddy was at the fire station or something. 

WELL. homegirl proved me wrong and shot down every ounce of anxiety there ever was.  

its official.  we have a water baby

headwrap // neon tankini 

our pool has a really large area thats just 4 inches deep.  so Baker plays her little heart out!

toddle, toddle

face plant

toddle, toddle

face plant

never missing a beat!!

 buckets and barbies. 

.and painting the sidewalk with water.  

 snacks with friends!

we have spent HOURS at the pool.  the walk home is so quiet- all my girls are worn out.

 

the evenings have looked a lot like this..

she screams DOG any time she walks by a window.. but only loves her from a distance.

last night we met for a picnic dinner with BB + Papa at their neighborhood's pool.

once again... Baker provided us with endless amounts of entertainment.  ever seen those kids at the splash pad? apparently Baker learns quickly..  I was DYING.

tears.  rolling.  

flower bow // ruffle suit (similar)

dinner!!  having a picnic by the pool was the most fun we have had all week!

definitely NOT on my camp gladiator diet.  

one might call this the cheat meal. 

I've been eating cheetos on my sammich since I was in high school! I texted this picture to my sister in law because she's the one, our sophomore year, that introduced me to this amazing combination.  

oh my GOODNESS it has been just an amazing week..and its only Wednesday.  we have literally spent the last three days playing at the pool, evenings on the patio and dinner courtesy of the grill.

summer.  you are awesome.